


it was always there

by voxaren (monstaxxild)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Kylo Ren Backstory, TLJ spoilers probably, ben solo hears voices in his head, i'm really happy that's a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 19:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13620342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monstaxxild/pseuds/voxaren
Summary: Ben had a voice in his head.





	it was always there

**Author's Note:**

> I had to write a backstory for a character on some website and I thought I'd just share this here too because... it's the first thing I've written in six months and I love it.

Ben had a voice in his head.

The voice was not his own, and it was not his father's or mother's. He compared it to his uncle's and found it quieter, more calming, like wind through grass or the hum of the engines on his father's ship. It spoke to him always. It was with him always.

It was there when his parents fought outside his room at night. When the energy that resided in all things, the energy he could feel when he closed his eyes, was disrupted by the stress of his mother and the restlessness of his father. When he lay in the dark, listened to their hushed arguments, and cried.

_Weak_ , it crooned.

It was there when his uncle ushered his parents into their room, looking over his shoulder at little Ben with wide eyes. When his father started shouting again and stormed out. When his mother explained that he was afraid of the Force.

_They are afraid of **you** ,_ it whispered.

It was there when his father left for the last time. When his mother passed him over to his uncle. When he was taken from his home and all he knew because he had been born with an unwanted power.

_You are alone,_  it said.

It was there when he was tested. When his uncle, his master, looked at him once again with wide, cautious eyes and told him he was powerful. Told him he needed to be careful.

_He's trying to weaken you,_  it snarled.

It was there when his uncle told him stories of his grandfather, voice straining to hide the emotion he battled with. When he learned of how powerful, how feared, how  _strong_  his grandfather had been.

_Stronger than your uncle,_  it crowed.  _Stronger than the Jedi._

It was there when his emotions raged unchecked. When his interest in the Dark Side grew. When his uncle sensed the darkness in his heart and grew truly afraid.

_What can the weak Jedi offer the heir apparent of Lord Vader?_  it hissed.  _I can make you stronger._

It was there when his master betrayed him. When his master's fear drove him into Ben's room in the dead of night. When the blue glow of his master's saber woke him from his restless sleep and Ben realized how foolish he had been to trust the Jedi.

_They have betrayed you!_  it screamed.  _Show them your strength!_

It was there when Ben stood atop the nearby hill, watching the flames devour his old school, listening to the screams of the weak with the stench of smoke and ruin in the air. When Ben left his past behind and was reborn. When he turned his back and chose a new name, as he would choose his own future - Kylo Ren.

_My worthy apprentice,_  it purred.  _Come to me._

He did.


End file.
